Jack Wellman, a bi-vocational Brethren pastor from Kansas, wrote “God cannot fix whoever is first not broken.”
It’s hard to say we ‘celebrate’ our brokenness, but it is often during such raw, exposed, and fearful moments that we pursue God most ardently. The valves are forced open on our inner ballast to release submerged issues so they can break through the surface. Doubt, anger, fear, impatience, false hopes, one-sided relationships, regrets, and uncertainties expose themselves as we groan for better circumstances or change.
It is then the Psalmist’s prayer helps us to lean harder into the pierced side of our Savior: “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart You, God, will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17) Fear is a given in life sooner or later - better to choose it appropriately than let it drive you. We are told “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Psalm 111:10) Most of us know our personal righteousness is spurious at best. Intrinsically we testify as Habakkuk did, “Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; You cannot tolerate wrongdoing.” (1:13) We are accountable for all God sees in us … and He sees it all. We justly deserve punishment, judgment, and loss except for one glorious possession: our relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus, the final word over our life is, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…” (Romans 8:1) And no matter our circumstances, “…neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:39)
Frequent trips to the doctor lately begin with the question “On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain you’ve ever felt, what is your pain today?” So my question to you today is: Where are you on the fear – love continuum? Do you fear God more than you love Him? Or do you love God more than you fear Him? Burdens, regrets, personal ‘dirt’ can be cleansed through a conversation between just you and God right now. You can ask Him for something better which He longs to reveal to you in your brokenness. Never forget Moses’ reminder to God’s people:
“…Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord?
He is your Shield and Helper
and your glorious sword.”